Insanity Diary

I have been in so many weight loss journey. The successful one would be back in 2013 where I lost almost 10kg in less than 6 months with these following parameters:

  1. I was single. Dating yes, but not married.
  2. I spent almost all of my money for gym membership, workout clothes, medicine (yes, my knees were dead busted thanks to the strenuous workout), healthy food (you know, avocados, protein shake etc. are expensive!), and of course bootcamp membership. But trust me, I regret not a single cent of these. It was all truly worth it!
  3. Time. I spent most of the time after work (and even during lunch time) working out. Gym was close to my house. Back then I went to Celebrity Fitness Subang Jaya and Bangsar Village and I went for KLCC PM bootcamp by Original Bootcamp where I was working.
  4. I even spent my time working out at the gym during ramadhan. 1 hour before breaking fast.

Crazy shit. But I had nothing to lose back then.  It was just me, myself and I. I can be selfish not to cook or clean and just went home and sleep, you get what I mean?

Over the years, after getting married around 1 year plus ago, I started slacking out. Actually it was few months before my marriage, due to the Carpal Tunnel release I did to my right palm. It hindered me from doing all the workout, or at least slowed down the process. It was so painful post operation. So, you slack off a week or two, then you started slacking off and finally, you stopped altogether.

I gained back the weight. I love eating but I did not workout enough to burn the food. The weight gain coupled with post wedding weight gain, work, having a husband (well, don’t get me wrong, having a husband meaning I can’t be all selfish and just crash into my bed post workout) and a house etc. brought me to this disastrous number on the scale that bombed me out.

But it’s not that I stopped trying. I did resumed back my bootcamp, jog around the neighbourhood (which when it rains, I got a bit demotivated), I did home workout, Kayla itsines, yoga, weight etc. But the problem was consistency!

You can have all the equipments, guides in the world but if you are not consistent enough, it will not work. Or it will but the progress will be slow. And I came to realize this went I was going through what I did during my weight loss before and now. What was different? What did I do differently? So the key now is the replicate the values and intensity and do it better this time !

This time around I am undergoing Insanity 60-day total body conditioning program.



I am now on Week 2 of Insanity. I will be posting on my experience undergoing this program. Posting it online ensures my commitment to complete this program whether I like it or not (to save me from public humiliation? haha).

Wish me luck!


up the ante

It’s one week away from the end of the first month in 2015! Time flies and I was trying to work on my resolutions throughout the month- perfecting them, making them as specific, measurable & realistic as possible. I read this idea of checklist from Lauren Conrad and decided to adopt this for my resolutions.

I find this method very good as you have all the areas of development that you are targeting & specific points that goes with it.

Here’s mine!

A bad habit I’m going to break:

  1. Procrastinate on my prayers (so so teruk this one. forgive me God!)
  2. Gossiping/saying bad things about others (also very bad)

A destination I’d like to visit:
Angkor Wat, Cambodia

I’m going to work harder at:

  1. Making time for exercise and clean-eating (no cheating!)
  2. Getting to know my husband

A project I’d like to finish:
Decorating my home

A class I’d like to take:
Quran-reading class.

I’d like to spend more time doing:
Outdoor activities

A food I want to eat more of:
fruits and veggies.

I want to wear more:

What’s yours?

Yours truly,


Week 4 of year 2014. Honestly, I don’t feel any difference compared to 2013. Just had some time off and did a good share of reminiscing. In short, 2013 was good.

Anyways, I asked my fiance on his new year post on social media. He’s much more of a writer than yours truly, you see.

So he wrote an amazing one (as always) on his facebook. I shall share his post here :)

It is another new year to begin with this time around.

Another complete circle around the sun. Another 365 days safely through. Another episode ended, and a new one begins.

We begin our new year with hopes and promises. Many look forward to change to the better; endless improvements in life, a continuation of efforts from the past years.

But often we see that our hopes and dreams faded after only months we celebrated new years. Same old routine resumed, same old habits remade. Our resolutions remain to be scribbles on paper, aged and consumed by time in none other than our sealed lockers.

When this happened, we only hoped for another incoming new year, so that our undone resolutions get renewed, carrying bright lights of promises for our futures.

I didn’t list much in my new year resolutions. Since long, my resolutions are generally to become a better person.

But if I am to specify them, they would mainly represent my hopes and dreams for a better life, a better community and a better nation.

I intend of completing my Doctor of Philosophy earlier than planned to make way for my PTD course starting this August. That means I am going to complete one study before beginning another.

I will be a husband in less than 3 months. Therefore, I will need to shape and prepare myself in sharing my otherwise shared to none elements in life with another significant person, for many years to come. I need to make and maintain a home for two. My time is now undergoing intense division. I am to be a good husband, and with luck, a good father too.

My works that involve community projects through government, non-government, profiting, non-profit, academical and political bodies need to be amplified for effects, and developed for their benefits shared altogether. I need to give more to benefit even more. More importantly, I want to rise above the clouds without stepping on anybody. I would want to double my output (and therefore my pay, because going ape and monkey all around about money doesn’t actually generate a single cent) and I would want to reduce my spending, and eventually, expand my savings and investments. I would want to dip a foot in the sea of business and try my luck out, as to create a diversity in income generation.

I need to improve my closeness with the Almighty. I need to amend a few characteristics that affect the people around my and myself in ugly ways. I need to tone down my smoking, and go easy on the coffee. I would want to love more.

I want to start writing again, and pursue back my photography hobby. Perhaps spending more time in traveling, running, golfing and meditation will improve my mortal body. Maybe taking Monty for a ride in the car in the evening would settle the dust after a chaotic day at work. Therapeutic effects, as Lelia would put it.

In conclusion, whatever it is, my hopes and dreams continue to be my only driving motive; better today than yesterday, and being even better tomorrow than today and yesterday combined. Don’t take only one day to represent the other 364 days that follow. Our lists don’t matter without us materializing them. Go wide on the resolutions. Without specifying in detail, we would be able to improve even the littlest flaw in and around us, therefore completing our general list of improvements, for a better future, a better life, and collectively, a better nation.

And with that, I wish you all a (belated) happy new year 2014. Have a big one.

*Gulp* I teared a lil bit alright. This paper heart syndrome of mine, as how he called it.

There’s a lot to be thankful for, 2013. You have thought me to be an even stronger lady, a compassionate human , full of patience (although I still have a lot to work on this area). It was not an easy ride, but thank you for not making me so lazy and at ease in my comfort zone.

What happened in 2013, some of the ups and down that colored my 2013.

  1. Fiance and I submitted our ideas for a better Malaysia and turns out one of the ideas was picked and we ended up in a 4-episode reality show  called The Big Dre1m, aired on TV3. Phew!485946_457672917637182_291399798_n
  2. I was in a car accident. Bruno was injured pretty badly and so was my bank account.IMG_1884
  3. I went into surgery to correct my carpal tunnel syndrome. Fiance and my best friend, Sakinah was there to help me.  Lost full usage of my right hand for a month and back on track after. IMG_2909
  4. I moved from Shah Alam to Kerinchi, nearer to the LRT and life is so much easier since then! No more early morning drive and late evening stuck in the traffic jam.
  5. I lost a dear friend, Nadia Zahari, after Aidilfitri 2013. It was so sudden that we, arwah’s friends all went into a deep shock. I miss her every single day. Al Fatihah. C360_2012-07-21-12-25-47
  6. I managed to drag my lazy ass and faced my fears and ran my first ever 10km in Putrajaya Night Marathon. I finished before the cutoff time! and my legs went jelly the next day, of course.Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset
  7. I wanted to eat clean and healthy. It was a yoyo thing for me because I’m still trying to find my pace. I did completed a 2-week plan and felt great. I will continue on.
  8. I got engaged to the love of my life!!!! (see the amount of ! I got there?)
  9. IMG_5060

hmmm, say whattt? 


With each of the problems and challenges, I was beaten down but I got up and face each of them with strength and hopefulness. I could not have done it without my loved one and friends by my side. I was so far away but you brought me closer to Him. You brought the love of my life and myself together and off to our next phase soon.

It’s unbelievable how fast you came to end. Thank you, 2013 ; you have been awesome!


Towards the end of the year, we received another great news. My fiance passed the Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatik (PTD) exam! On top of his PhD, he now have another huge opportunity on his plate. Excited and nervous at the same time, but I’m very much just happy for him.


The first quarter of 2014 will be an exciting and challenging one. Insha Allah, I will be changing my status from a fiance to a wife, soon. I will be moving into a new chapter of my life before my 26th birthday.

I want to continue being a supportive partner to my better half. Whatever it is that he finds beneficial and good to his liking, inshaAllah, I am all right behind him!

I want to try and experience new things too. Would love to go for adventure trips with my better half, and enjoy the nature and his photography skills. Fortunately, yours truly love being on camera :D

Quoting fiance’s new year’s post “Our lists don’t matter without us materializing them.”  I don’t have a proper  list this year but generally, I want to improve myself in a lot of aspects this year. Just want to be spontaneous this time with my activities. All in all, I want to be healthier, to love more , to learn more and to take good care of the people around me.

May Allah ease my journey, and yours too :)


p/s: Please keep us in your prayers. Wedding prep is crazayhhh! Happy New Year 2014!

What happened to my 2013’s resolution?

I want to do a rough check on mine, which I posted earlier this year. OK, cue shy face.

I read somewhere that posting your goals/target online will make you stick to it no matter what because everyone has already seen it. Kind of like you’d-be-embarrassed-if-you-don’t-finish-what-you-started feeling. Ha.

Anyways, let’s see…

  1. Go to the beach. I’ve been missing the sandy beaches and the sunset at the beach for so longg!
  2. Participate in a marathon. By end of 2013, I want to complete a half marathon. That’s my target.  Scratchhhhh! I’m gonna start with 10km first. Too ambitious, Azalia. Knee is not cooperating very well.
  3. Wear more bright colors. Although my favorite is black, but my other favorite is RED! <– I can still do this righttt? Lets see if I have worn enough bright colors to brighten up my soul. *scroll IG*
  4. Expand my book collection in different genres than fiction – politics, history, traveling etc. <– Sad. Not achieved just yet. Help, anyone? Recommend me books from genres besides fiction, please :)
  5. READ, READ and READ. Expand my reading genres! <— I think this should continue on to 2014 (and years after). I didn’t read that much so far and I hate myself for it.
  6. Take more pictures I think I did. Check out my IG haha!
  7. Go on the train trip with the boyfriend. Northern, southern and eastern routes.  Northern – checked! How bout up North to Thailand, baby? ehemm
  8. Invest on more supplement for myself. Vitamins, EPO etc Ended up being supplied with B-Cobalt for my nerve problem pre and post carpal tunnel surgery. LOL
  9. Do a thorough medical checkup
  10. Have an adventure outdoor trip with the boyfriend
  11. Less crying, more laughing
  12. Save up for a new phone. I better get myself a quality one this time. Broke my bank account for the ip5.
  13. Go for a road trip and sample the street food
  14. Driving range date
  15. Eat more healthy food I was introduced to quinuoa , couscous, asparagus, oatmeal, and paleo diet ; Love all of them!
  16. Engage in more outdoor activities
  17. Cook more More of experimenting, but yeah :)

It’s November and we have ONE more month to go till we end 2013 real good. Phew, time flies huh? And before we know it, we’ll start thinking of 2014’s resolution already. Mehhh, screw that. Who am I kidding, I have 2013’s leftover to be settled. -.-”

Lets do this !

Eyes on the prize

I used to be conscious about people’s opinion about me that somehow it affected my goals, my vision and what I had planned for myself. I judge myself harshly, and sometimes even more harsh than others.

But I have come to the point that really, life is all about understanding yourself and how you work and function. Only by doing that, you won’t be frustrated or demotivated when you face criticisms or gnarly comments about you.

It’s not that I’m highlighting the fact that you can just ignore people’s criticisms and comments. What I’m saying is, choose your ‘stress’ wisely. For example, I have a boss that complaints to my client about my ‘ bad performance’ and I went crazy thinking about it days and nights. One day I decided to take a deep breath and just really analyze my strengths and weaknesses, talked to my clients on how to improve my performance and wallah, it gets better. I chose my stress and to me, my boss is definitely not one of them.

Another thing about me is that negativity fuels me. Perhaps harsh criticisms or should I just say “reality” hurts. It bites, really. But I don’t let them get to me and get in the way of my journey and planning. Case study : My body. Excess weight gained over 10 years gradually, realistically cannot go away in just a mere 10 months! Not unless I have a crazy metabolism which unfortunately, I don’t have that. It’s okay. Point is, I have my determination and discipline, plus my plan. So yes, I may get bits and pieces of negativity or demotivating events but my eyes are on the prize. Those words degrade but somehow it motivates.

So people, have faith in yourself. If you know what you want, just keep your eyes to the goal and keep going. This applies to any other aspects in life too.

Good luck!

p/s : Talking about goals, now I remember…what happened to my 2013’s goals? yikes.

2013’s to do list!

As promised, I’m sharing my 2013’s to do list! I’ll keep track of my progress and fingers crossed, inshaAllah I hope to complete all of this come end of this year.

So, here goes!

  1. Go to the beach. I’ve been missing the sandy beaches and the sunset at the beach for so longg!
  2. Participate in a marathon. By end of 2013, I want to complete a half marathon. That’s my target.
  3. Wear more bright colors. Although my favorite is black, but my other favorite is RED!
  4. Expand my book collection in different genres than fiction – politics, history, traveling etc.
  5. READ, READ and READ. Expand my reading genres!
  6. Take more pictures
  7. Go on the train trip with the boyfriend. Northern, southern and eastern routes.
  8. Invest on more supplement for myself. Vitamins, EPO etc
  9. Do a thorough medical checkup
  10. Have an adventure outdoor trip with the boyfriend
  11. Less crying, more laughing
  12. Save up for a new phone. I better get myself a quality one this time.
  13. Go for a road trip and sample the street food
  14. Driving range date
  15. Eat more healthy food
  16. Engage in more outdoor activities
  17. Cook more

and to sum it up,


Good luck to yours truly!