Maybe, when you love someone this much for the first time in your life you’d want to do everything right for that person just because you are afraid that you would lose him.
And when I love, I love whole-heartedly. I am proud to show to the world that I’m in this wonderful relationship with the guy that I love. But past experiences scare the hell out of me. Most of the guys that I have a crush on will ended up avoiding me for the fact that I am too giving, too loving.
And this time, for once in my life I was so sure about my choice. The guy that I brought home to my family for the first time is Nazmi.
Looking at how my mom is surprised with my behaviour, she questioned me time and time again on how serious I am with Nazmi and whether or not he will be able to handle the way I love – the ever-giving and willing-to-do-anything kinda love.
She stopped me from doing anything that will caused me a heartbreak. That includes posting on facebook, writing about him etc. She wants me to be careful with my heart, to not be broken again.
Being in love with Nazmi builds me up in ways that I never imagined that I would be experiencing it after so many disappointments in my life.
It took us a while to finally see our direction in this relationship. To me, it has always been forever and ever but I want to be sure that it will be the same from his side.
For the past 2 weeks we have been facing trials. Arguments, tears that follows not only brought us closer but we learned a thing or two about each other.
Perhaps I am not perfect when it comes to showing the right amount of love, or emotions and reactions. I don’t measure or try to control it. When I give, I give with all my heart.
My past is past. When I met Nazmi in June and we started to get to know each other and build this relationship, I now know nothing else but to commit to this relationship.
I don’t know if my explanation satisfy you, baby but I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way.
However heartbreaking it maybe, I kept reminding myself for the fact that In matters of the heart, though, there will always be things our loved ones don’t know, don’t understand.The only thing we can do is to keep trying, keep showing them-in whatever way we can- that we care. It may be that they never completely grasp everything that we do and feel for them, but simply the act of never giving up-that is the meaning of true love.
I love you.